Jan 31, 2021

    It's been about a week since my last treatment. Side effects are a little more, not much, still manageable easily.  Had an episode last night, knew what was going on around me but mentally was somewhat disaccociated. Second time this has happened.  Carolyn and I talked about it this morning and realized that the last time it happened was about a week (the Sat after) chemo, and we think this could be the Chemo brain they talk about.  Going to talk to Dr. about it at next appointment.  Now that we have an idea what is going on it isn't as scary.

    I really need to thank my support system during all this. My sister and brother in law Tim and Terri, my sister Marita, and most importantly my son Kevin and my wife Carolyn.  There support is what gets me through.

    Especially Carolyn, her love and strength keeps me going. There are times when I am tired and scared (yes people, I do feel fear sometimes) he love and strength keeps me going. I know this is hard on her but she just keeps going and helps me. I don't know what I would do without her.  I do know I couldn't do this. I don't know how to express how much I love her and need her.  She is my heart and soul and without her I would be a shell of what I am and would no way be able to do this.  I love you Carolyn.  Always and Forever.

And now, BACK TO THE FIGHT.....

Second Chemo Treatment

Went to my second appointment for Chemo today.  Had some confusion at the last appointment, he told me we were going to take a non-aggressive Chemo approach, to basically improve my quality of life and nothing more.  Saw the surgeon the following week and told him, he was pissed, said if he didn't want to go aggressive then to call him and he would set me up with someone who does.  Message oncologist and told him I wanted to go aggressive on treatment, I fight, I don't quit.  It's my body and my life.  Get to and his attitude is completely changed.  Tells me that the reason we went non-aggressive was to see how I tolerated the Chemo and side affects (which were basically none, thank you military for pumping us so full of drugs for pain, immunizations and whatnot to give me a extremely high drug tolerance).  He also said that if we had gone full bore right off the bat at my current weight, it could land me in the hospital, but now that he knows how I tolerate the drugs he is going to (as he put it), "Light me up"

So todays treatment was the much stronger dosage and I can feel it.  Tired, some nausea, and other symptoms.  But very manageable.  It will get worse but we are going in the right direction.  Current weight according to the Dr. Scale, 309, so my weight is stable for the moment.  So I am feeling better about the way things are going.

 

For those following this, I am in FB jail and can only send to my story.  Recommend selecting the follow button on the blog main page.

Good Few Days for Food

 Haven't been able to eat much but soup and protein drinks.  But found I can eat soft boiled eggs, also figured out a routine that allows me to get sleep, so it has been a good week and am getting some strength back.  Not a lot but some.  And the best part is yesterday I was able to eat about 1/2 a bowl of chicken and sausage gumbo (chicken finely shredded and sausage cut up very very small), but was able to get some proteins and carbs in the system.  Today going to try chicken and rice.  Wish me luck. 

      In Facebook jail till Feb.   To make sure you get the updates hit the follow button on the main page.  I was a bad bad boy....LOL

      Several things since the last post, emailed my oncologist and told him my desire for more aggressive chemo.  Received response that we talk at my appointment on Monday. 

     Had follow up with surgeon, explained what was going on as far as my cancer was going.  Now feel better because Carolyn and I know what is going on. When I told him about what my oncologist said and was going less aggressive on the Chemo, he was upset.  Told me to call him is my oncologist does not go more aggressive because my best chance is aggressive chemo.  He told me he could set me up with and oncologist for a second opinion that would prefers more aggressive Chemo treatment.  (Since the surgeon is affiliated with Siteman Cancer Center I'm betting the oncologist is there - and if the oncologist fights me that is what I will do). 

    Going to fight this as hard as possible, best chance for winning.

Day after 1st Chemo

 Well, it's the day after my first chemo.  The side affects were basically nothing this time. Main thing I had was I was very tired and slept a lot.  Minor nausea this AM but that was all.  Have to talk to both doctors because there seems to be some confusion.  Surgeon told me that, yes there was more cancer but it was in the abdominal cavity.  The oncologist says it was outside the abdomen so surgery isn't an option.  And is going less aggressive chemo.  Have appointment with surgeon Monday so I am going to clear it up.  Also going to tell oncologist I want aggressive chemo even though surgery might not be an option.  Not going to give him an option on this.  I want the best possible chance of beating this no matter what.  Because beat it I will. 

It's Friday

 Well, it's Friday,  Oncologists office called Wednesday and said they were rescheduling my Chemo to Monday because the Doctor wants to see me first and is adjusting my treatment (probably because of what the Surgeon found).  Wish me luck, not looking forward to this.  Upside is Carolyn is off so she can go with me to Chemo.

   More on Monday after I enter into Chemo Hell.

My Cancer Journey has started

 Good Evening,

      It has been a while since I updated the blog.  You see, I lost the weight loss battle and went up to 414 lbs.  I was listed as morbidly obese, a term I hated.  But it was true.  Then about 6 months ago I started losing weight, not a lot at first but I was losing it.  But then I noticed other things, feeling bloated after eating very little, pain during and after eating, etc.  So I treated constipation, acid reflux etc.  Then I went to my GP and she treated me for stomach nerve neuropathy, no go, so I went to a GI specialist for colonoscopy and endoscopy.  Colon was clear, esophagus was clear, but they found a mass in my stomach, and the biopsy showed cancer. So it was off to the oncologist, the did a CT scan and PET scan and it showed that the cancer was limited to my stomach, finally some good news. Start scheduling Chemo, in the mean time off to see the surgeon, have a diagnostic laparoscopy done and chemo port implanted. Unfortunately, the surgery showed that the tumor has broken off in the stomach, it hasn't spread, yet.  But it could. BUT, according to the surgeon they have CURED people at this stage even though it is classified as Stage 4 (because it is broken off in the stomach). So now Thursday (two days from now) I start Chemo, my oncologist is attacking it aggressively so it will be chemo every 2 weeks.  I will be sick a lot, miserable a lot, but I will win. I have great support, my loving wife Carolyn, my sister Mary Rita, My Sister and brother in-law Tim and Terri.  They are giving me support but no pity or sympathy (two things I absolutely hate), because I am an asshole, a title I am proud of, because assholes don't put up with anybody's Bullshit. I am a warrior and I don't like to lose, so I don't. Besides that Terri and Carolyn have gotten it to Crikut and are making hats and shirts for me so I will be the best dressed guy at Chemo. Yes I still have my twisted sense of humor and love of the absurd.  On the up side, I realized there was a problem because of the sudden weight loss, and guess what, as of today that weight loss has been 99 lbs in 6 months.  Down side, that sudden weight loss has caused me to be extremely weak, tired all the time, and requiring people to do things for me that I would normally take care of. Some days I feel like a massive burden, but if I get in, then I will lose, and I don't like to lose. People wonder if I will get upset when they say the will pray for my, I welcome all prayers from any denomination or belief, Catholic praying for me, thank you, Jewish, go for it, Muslim, please pray, Wiccan, Thank You, etc.  I don't care who or what you believe, feel free to pray for me. Yes, this is a long post, it is the first of the blog. I will probably post after chemo and doctor visits etc., and any major events (like when I can eat solid foods again).  Do you know, it really sucks being on a liquid and soft food diet because you can't stomach solid foods (another reason for the weight loss, can't take in enough calories).

     So stay tuned for updates.  It's going to be a long journey, but lets take this together.

Kevin